“Alan Ball’s a football genius” City fans’ sense of humour spared my blushes on that frightful day, fright easily beaten by the fear factor absorbed when Old Rednose once reached for me after his famous chewing gum got stuck on the seat of his pants (edited version).

Away games must be rejoiced by the Kopites; visiting a ground where you can actually see the game, where the fans don’t pour urine over you (edited version) and the toilets are large enough to take several men urinating (edited version) at the same time.

Old Klippity has had an inauspicious start showing great ability in making a pig’s ear out of a pig’s ear now that slippery Steve has gone and Raheem has seen the light they’re making do with cast-offs and has-beens thanks to Brendan whose skills at making a pig’s ear out of a silk purse (Balotelli) are patently obvious.

It shall be interesting to note the difference in fans’ reaction to ex-players. I expect the ungrateful reds to roundly deride Sterling but the wonderful Blues to soundly cheer Jimmy and Kolo (we still chant his name in the now global adaption of ‘No Limit’).

Why is football identified to show respect? The minute of silence or applause, singing the Marseillaise not just at an international game but domestic too is being demanded repeatedly for events outside football such that it’s in danger of losing its meaning. Was Bill Shankly right? Is it because football really is more important than religion?

Chewing gum – luxury for Scousers is not needing to pass around their one piece of chewed Juicy Fruit.