Like Michael Jackson they’re forever blowing bubbles, the Hammers, the Iron play at, is it the Boleyn Ground, Upton Park or the Olympic Stadium? Couldn’t really give a monkey’s (MJ’s Bubbles was a chimp).

Except for when Cattle-prod Pardew was there there’s not much to dislike about West Ham. Its history reads very much like ours and with its contribution to the festivities of 1966 makes it a club of the people, again very much like MCFC. Carlos Tevez, my Billy, transfer shenanigans or boot money (spiked in place by a certain toothpick – I was a witness) although 100 years apart possess similar overtones. Flirting with relegation – we still cheer on reaching 40 points – yes, apart from recent kudos and their fans’ in-fighting we have much in common. Then there’s Malcolm Allison.