Dear Steven,

Thank you Slippy G. Without your inane comments the Westminster Bridge incident would bring me to tears but your stupidity is so effective at fighting the lachrymal and for that I am so grateful. Caballero was at fault for not saving the penalty properly. After sleeve-wiping my laughing eyes of course I realised that our Willy won the League Cup from the clutches of the red scouse by not saving penalties properly.  Also Willy should have maneuvered like a peregrine and clawed that ball deflected off the twisted owl-head of Mr. Kompany (welcome back Vinny). You must have shares in Franny Lee’s business.

Maintaining my interests in Kleenex I almost shed a tear for Rio after he hung his personals on the line but his agreement with you and co brought me tears all right, tears of hilarity.

Why do they choose you pundits? Red scousers, red grousers.  I know, other than to give us a feeling of superiority it’s to make our sorrows bearable. You forget what we’ve been through.